why counseling can be so complicated
The Bible teaches the ideal relationship scenario. (Gen 1:27-28, Gen 2:22-24, Proverbs 18:22, Eph 5:22-33, Matt 19:4-6)
One Husband. One Wife. As many Children as you desire.
Our American culture has accepted, promoted, glorified and even legalized many relationship ideology’s that are in most cases, absolutely unbiblical. The ideal relationship that God designed and blessed, has spiraled out of control. And so today, we have complicated relationship webs that leave Counselors, particularly Christian Counselors, absolutely mind boggled at times. I’ll refer to them as tangled webs.
Here are some relationship scenarios that Counselors and Pastors deal with today.
A Christian husband and a Christian wife.
A Christian husband an unbelieving wife.
An unbelieving husband, Christian wife.
An unbelieving husband, and unbelieving wife.
A backslidden husband, Christian wife.
A Christian husband, backslidden wife.
A backslidden husband, backslidden wife.
An unbelieving husband, backslidden wife.
A backslidden husband, an unbelieving wife.
All of the above with or without children…
And it doesn’t stop there because now we add these:
-the blended family
-Multiple marriages (Divorced, remarried several times)
-Multiple partners, no marriage
-Multiple partners, all married
-Multiple children by multiple marriages
-Single unwed mothers
_Single parents sharing custody
-Cohabiting couples with or without kids
-The abusive marriage partner
-The co-dependent marriage partner
The list goes on and on… then multiply with the whole believing or unbelieving, backslidden, etc…addends.
Some of these relationships have ended up -by no choice of your own. In cases of rape that led to pregnancy, or adultery that left you a single parent, or death of a spouse. Those hurts are big, real and deep because you did not ask for it to be this way!
Why would Pastors take the time, or why would anyone in their right mind study Christian Counseling and get Licensed so they can try to help people untangle relationship knots like these?
Because they know a God who loves each and everyone of these individuals and because they believe that God can do the impossible…He can make crooked paths straight again!
Here’s my first bit of advice for you if you need help:
1. Find, stay in, and commit to a good God fearing, Bible believing church with a caring Pastor
2. Resolve to involve God and His Word back into your home, your marriage and your problems!
3. Find a good Christian Counselor (if your church doesn’t have one) to start meeting with immediately.
These situations need a lot of prayer and spiritual guidance to help! That’s something a secular Counselor cannot or will not offer you!
If we are to untangle relationship knots, it will be because we work on getting our vertical relationship with God right first. Clearly, no one can promise everything will always work out like you want….but if we put our trust in God and if we “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness…seek to put His Will for us first…then we know God will be for us and He will help us build and rebuild!
We cannot change people, but God can redirect anyone who has a change of heart!
I pray God’s blessing on you and yours today!