Every tear you’ve shed
Every time you’ve been bruised by hard words of another
Every time you’ve taken the heat for a situation you did not cause
Every time you’ve prayed for an answer
Every time you’ve been hurt by a close friend or relationship
Every sad event you’ve had to withstand
Every burden you have willfully carried
Every time you’ve cried yourself to sleep
God saw it.
he knoweth the secrets of the heart. Psalm 44:20,21.
Can any hide himself in secret places that I shall not see him? saith the Lord. Do not I fill heaven and earth? saith the Lord. Jeremiah 23:24.
To some people, it makes them nervous to know that God is everywhere, and that He sees all
But I am comforted by the fact that God sees everything in my life!
He knows my motives
He knows my sincerity
He knows my faithfulness
He knows my heart
He knows my desires
He knows my willingness
He knows how bad I want to be like Him
He knows when I am trying my hardest
God sees those who do me wrong.
God sees my needs
long before I recognize them.
God knows what my tomorrow holds
And He’s with me through each one of them.
God knows what I need to make it another day.
God knows my weaknesses and uses me anyway.
He knows every sacrifice I’ve made
He knows when I have reached my limits
He knows the secrets I cannot share
He knows when I am completely exhausted
And He knows when I need carried for awhile
He knows when I need a friend
He knows when I need a blessing
He knows just when I need to push harder
And He knows when I need to rest
But one particular morning I wondered.
It was a Sunday morning, just a few years ago.
I walked through the back doors of our Church,
smiled and nodded a few hellos
and took my place in the pew.
Something about the morning just felt different to me.
The music started and the songs were
all upbeat and joyful, resounding beautifully off the sanctuary walls
but I stared at the screen and the words were all in a haze.
I couldn’t seem to get myself to hear the words I was singing
so I stopped for a moment and tried to really focus.
I remember saying to the Lord,
“What I really need this morning is to just cry.
I need my spirit washed and made new.”
I couldn’t think of one thing I had done wrong.
I had not sinned. At least knowingly.
I could not understand the heaviness.
I felt I needed to just get alone with God.
To get alone ~in a room full of people?
I ached to feel the arms of God
wrapped around me.
No words. Just to feel Him
Did God really know what I needed that morning?
I wondered, although I had grown up hearing that there
is “Something for everyone” in any given Church service.
But in this service I felt almost out of place while the worship and rejoicing were all around me
After the first song, I saw our Pastor tap the worship leader to step aside and he walked to the pulpit and began to minister to the congregation.
Almost immediately, the atmosphere changed
~like a holy hush
I couldn’t hold it back anymore.
I stepped out of my pew and made it almost to the front when I slowly fell to a crumpled position on the floor,
and just began to weep.
I cannot explain it.
It was something my soul absolutely needed.
And while I got lost in the presence of the Lord
several others had found places in their pews, along the walls, and at the altar and were just weeping and crying in the powerful presence of the Lord.
The Lord was surely in that place
And we needed to just be loved by our Heavenly Father