A person with no limits or boundaries is exactly that, a person with no limits. They set no real limits on themselves, their spending, their time, their comments, or in their decision making.
A person who has no limits (often referred to as narcissistic) can be frustrating at times because they won't take no for an answer. They get pushy (or manipulative) to convince you to do something with little to no regard on how you feel about it. They convincingly talk you into going places, spending money, doing things you might not ever have done before.
People with no boundaries cannot seem to categorize thoughts and feelings. As a result, they cannot understand your feelings. They struggle to gauge your comments, and they undervalue their own worth and ability.
People with no boundaries do not like to make decisions for fear they will make the wrong one. So they end up pushing you to make a decision for them. Then they get angry with you for not making the one they wanted. It's a no-win situation that leaves everyone frustrated.
People with no boundaries do not like to say no. They would give up a weekend and spend $500 to help you move, but they would expect you to do the exact same. They are easy to take advantage of because they can't say no. Saying no would mean they risk you not liking them. Because they cannot set boundaries in their own life, they won't appreciate the boundaries you have in yours.
People with no boundaries struggle with respect. They have little for themselves, and it bleeds over onto their relationships with others. They struggle to see and appreciate true respect when they see it. One driving force with people who have no boundaries is the fear of rejection and abandonment.
People with no boundaries often promise more than they can deliver. In an effort to get people to like them, they over commit themselves to do things for others. It can be hard to count on them to follow through on things because they over commit and therefore cannot deliver.
Set boundaries with them. If you sense they are getting frustrated because you won't do something they are trying to get you to do, just ask them to explain their frustration. Most often they will talk about it, see their request was unreasonable, and the situation can be resolved.
People with no boundaries are usually driven by guilt and anxiety. They feel guilty about little things like taking the last cookie, or asking someone to move over so they too, can sit. They tend to overshare private details about their life and then panic that you will judge them.
People with no boundaries constantly feel the victim of situations because they can't say no, they end up feeling used or manipulated. By blaming others, you ignore facing up to your own decisions that brought the undesired results. People who have no boundaries are often passive/aggressive people. There is a good chance many of your relationships are codependent, which means your friends, family members, and/or partner are invested (responsible) in you taking care of their happiness." *
Be cordial but disengage with unproductive conversations. Limit activities you do with them. Don't allow disrespectful behavior. Walk away from them for awhile if you need to. If necessary to get your point across, hang up on them. Remember, because they cannot set boundaries, they will take advantage of your time and friendship unless you make it clear to them.
As in all the "Types of People" we are discussing in these blog posts, remember, I am only highlighting certain troublesome characteristics. All people have some good qualities about them, even if they have certain ones that are controlling or demanding. This is true of the 'No Boundaries' type of person as well.
Cognitive Therapy has proven very beneficial to people who have no boundaries. It focuses on present feelings, behaviors and communication. Cognitive Therapy helps us understand why we do the things we do, and how to change them.
Adapted from Difficult Relationships by Luke Gregory
*Harley Therapy Ltd. - © 2006-2022 Harley Therapy™.