Navigating Christmas

Christmas—"the most wonderful time of the year"—can feel like the most painful when you are a widow or are suffering through a loss. The festive lights and cheerful carols can feel like a stark contrast to the darkness and silence in your home and heart. An empty chair at the table, well-meaning "Merry Christmas," and even small familial traditions can sometimes amplify your loss. But it’s Ok.  Grief is a testimony to the love you shared. 

The season, which is heavily focused (and rightfully so) on togetherness, celebration, and family traditions, amplifies feelings of loss, loneliness, and isolation. Navigating the stark contrast between internal pain and external expectations will be hard, make no mistake.

Pushing through this holiday season does not mean forcing yourself to be merry or pretending the pain isn't there. It means permitting yourself to grieve and finding moments of grace in the midst of your sorrow. The Bible tells us there is "a time to weep and a time to laugh" (Ecclesiastes 3:4), and even Jesus wept when his friend Lazarus died, showing us that grief is a natural, human response to loss.

No one, not even God, expects you to "get over it." Instead, He promises to be close to the brokenhearted and to meet you in the depths of your pain. The Christmas story is the story of Immanuel—"God with us". He came into a messy, broken world, one that did not receive him respectfully, to experience pain and suffering and ultimately face an undeserving death, all to offer us a hope beyond comparison. No one will ever love us as God does.

This season might look different than how it used to: but it’s ok.  Talk it out. Share your feelings with a trusted friend or family member, or pour out your heart to God. Navigate through the hard moments with prayer. God listens. Give yourself the freedom to change traditions that are too painful right now. Perhaps you can start new, simple traditions or find new ways to honor those you love and/or those you are missing this season. Allow others to comfort you. You don't have to walk this path alone.

Keep taking one step at a time, trusting that even in the darkest moments, God is present. He collects your tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8) and sustains you with His grace. God comes where He is invited. Ask Him to be near. Invite Him to wrap His arms around you and all who are hurting this holiday season. Find comfort in knowing He is close to the brokenhearted and sees your every tear.

Focus not on achieving the "perfect" holiday. Instead, focus on the real comfort and peace He will provide for you. When you stop to look for them, you will find pockets of joy and reasons to smile.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." — Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope.” — Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

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